My Story

As human beings we have a tendency to define ourselves through the way others see us. And they see us by the things we do. I have a fundamental problem with "defining myself," whether it is done by me or another. The labels that are applied are not me. They are only descriptive of certain aspects of my life.

 I am not what I do. I am not a label that is pasted on me. I am a soul, wrapped in the filter of my personality that is shaped by the totality of experiences I have gathered in this life and others that came before.

How do I convey this to others who want to know about me? Do I describe the soul? The soul purpose? The personality? The experiences?

Just trying to put that into words places limits on what is conveyed. And so therefore I struggle to define myself, knowing that I am all of this and more.

Yet somehow I have to say something in order that you will be able glimpse a portion of that. The question is, how much of a glimpse do you need before you will step forward into the light?

I am a man, much like any other. I spent many years chasing my desires, gathering pleasures while experiencing the world. That I have a love for learning, and pursued formal education through law school. And beyond that in countless other ways, gathering from here and there.  My ideal was to be a Renaissance man, knowledgable and skilled at many things.  And I was.

Though I wanted to go create something, which I thought would be in business, I ended up hanging up my shingle as a lawyer and entering the world of conflict and manipulation of circumstance. I loved the interaction, and thrilled to devising strategies and executing solutions. But I hated the conflict. Nevertheless, the gifts of my talents made me very good at it.

The Christianity of my youth was problematic for me because of the rigid dogma that it wrapped itself in.  I always felt a direct connection with God, and could not understand the need for ritual, intermediaries, and all the other teachings that filled our heads.  Some might even say I blasphemed all they held dear, for I always considered Jesus as a personal friend, and not some deity  to be held on high.  So I turned my back on it.

In college I started a long exploration of the martial arts, which led me to the study of eastern philosophies.  The foundantions of Taoism seemed very natural, yet even then I never grabbed hold of their "religious" practice.  I remained internally spiritual, yet outwardly agnostic.

Ultimately, I met a lady named Linda Starseed at a new age center in Sedona.  It turned out Linda was a psychic Reiki healer who did past life regressions.  I didn't believe in those things, but my wife was anxious to find a cure for a violent cough from which I was suffering, and urged me to try it. Why, I’ll never know. But from that moment on my life changed.

We went upstairs and I lay down on a table, and she started trying to get me to relax and go into a sort of hypnotic state. Well, I didn’t think it worked. I have an active mind, and it didn’t want to stop its work. Anyway, she continued, and when she got me to whatever lifetime that I was supposed to see, she told me to look at my feet. I had the feeling I was wearing sandals. She asked what I wore, and I told her a robe. When she asked me to look around, all I could see were the back of the heads of people sitting on the ground in front.  It meant nothing.  We both thought it was a failure when I stopped and could do no more.

So as she’s bringing me out of it, she decides to try some healing. Reiki. Etheric weavers. Crystals. The whole new age healing thing that I thought was a bit much. Anyway, in the middle of what I thought was a waste of time (my active mind was quite skeptical), a picture flashed into my find. We all have seen the painting of Jesus praying at the rock in Gethsemane. Well, I saw it, too. But I knew it wasn’t a picture. I was looking at the real deal, kneeling and praying before the soldiers took him away.

Along with the vision came an instant flood of knowing, and I was overcome with guilt. Terrible, terrible guilt that I didn’t stop it. I was shaking, struck to my core. I was there. I saw it. I did nothing. Imagine, knowing that you were present and stood by while the most perfect, most innocent person of all time was taken away to be slaughtered. Even now I sometimes get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

I left shaking, deep in thought. My family knew something had happened when I went down to the river and just stared off into space, not saying a word. Later I shared the story for the first time. They were incredulous. As was I.

To make a long story short, the cough began to subside and disappeared within a few days. And I was left in disbelief with this picture in my head.

A month later I was invited to a Buddhist Amitaba ceremony by Dr. Whei Chue Shih, a good friend who happens to be a doctor and teacher of Chinese medicine. We went to the monk afterward, who was providing future direction. She told me a few things about me, and then said I was going to be a religious leader. Me. Who turned his back on religious dogma and the structure of the church. But that I would have a period of preparation needed before that would begin. Again I left shaking my head. Was she nuts?

I had been pretty regular in my mediation practice over the previous year or two, but all of this was more than my mind was ready to handle. I was confused. Lost. Drifting. I knew that I wasn’t finding answers anywhere around me, and something told me that what I needed was inside me. So that’s where I turned.

Still, it wasn’t enough, and I threw my hands up in frustration. I give up, I said. Do with me what you will. Show me the way. And then a whirlwind of changes began to occur.

Within a couple weeks, I was introduced to a psychic who spoke to my lead spirit guide. She gave me just enough information to lead me to the next step, but certainly not enough to see the whole picture. At another session he told her to have me do some things with another person who was not known to have intuitive abilities. In the midst of our work, that person amazingly discovered those abilities, and introduced me to several of my guides. One who came forth identified himself as my life guide. The first words out of his mouth were, "It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could do." I almost fell over. I asked if he would tell me who I was in that life. And he did.

A few months before I had never given past lives a second thought, and now I'm given a name tied to important events and writings of the past!  I was floored.

Later several different intuitives again brought up aspects of that life. Again confirming the identity I didn't want to believe. Over and over and over again different psychics crossed my path (without my looking for them) each telling me the same thing, without foreknowledge or prompting from me. Slowly I began to accept it, because all the while my inner voice was whispering my purpose to me. And I began to believe.

I was here to reveal the truth of the light, and help others on the journey of their souls.  Yet there I was, still in the throes of my own transformation, rapidly becoming that which I already was and had been so many times before.

As I rediscovered the ancient knowledge, I began to share it. Helping others to bring the power of the light into their lives. And writing to share it with the world, as I had in previous lives. Whispers in the Silence is now complete, and soon to come to market. When you read it, you will understand.

This web site, together with its sister site The Whisper Zone, will become the mechanism by which this new persepctive will spread around the globe.  In  a great wave, the light will ignite memories of souls contracted to hear and take it forth to change the world.

My purpose is to build a bridge of trust between us.  Though your mind may question, know that I am always with you, whether you see or believe me or not.  Know that I love you, and that no matter our differences or circumstances in life, you are of the One Life as am I, and that it is my honor and privilege to help you discover it.  And to help you travel the path of light consciously, moving ever forward to your own awakening.

This life is a stop on the spiritual journey of your soul.  If you will let me, I will try to shine a light upon your way.

This is who I am.  I am John.  Go with love.